Oviya Ravi Week #9; The Spark to the Flame
“Don’t give them the power to affect you.” This sentence has been ingrained in my brain ever since I was kid. Every time I came home complaining about a random interaction I had that day, instead of agreeing with me or telling me to stop complaining, my dad would tell me to stop giving other people power over me. I did not truly understand what this meant when I was a kid but it really is one of the best pieces of advice I have been given.
In essence, words alone have no power. Words themselves cannot cause any true damage. As soon as we start paying attention to words—allowing them to eat up our time and infest our headspace—that is when they start having the ability to make an impact on our lives. It’s almost as if words are simply oxygen, constantly floating around, always present. Our reaction to those words is the spark. Our reaction is what starts the fire. But lucky for us, that is something we can control.
As soon as we start letting what people say affect us, that is when we start to lose power over ourselves. This goes for both the good and the bad. The day I can stop caring about what other people think about me is the day I will truly be proud of the progress I have made in myself. The day I don’t need someone else’s validation before I feel accomplished and the day I continue to be proud even after being put down, that is the day I can truthfully call myself happy.
In our lifetimes, there will be thousands of voices giving their respective opinions, or advice, or criticism about every single thing we do, every choice we make. Many of them will come from a good place; some of them will not. The important thing is to remember that we don’t have to listen to all of them. We don’t have to listen to any of them. The power to affect our decisions, our choices, and our mindset only has to rest with us. You don’t have to “give them the power to affect you.”
Hi Oviya! Having also heard the saying, “Don’t give them the power to affect you,” for literally all of my life, I absolutely loved your blog. I have always been the subject of my older brother’s verbal torment, especially when I was little, as is customary for being the little sibling, and it would drive me insane. I always knew that he was provoking me on purpose to get a reaction, that he was doing it for the principle of irking me, but that was never enough to contain my reaction.
ReplyDeleteTo this day, words still affect me more than I’d like to admit. I will always find the common saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” to be very untrue. Physical harm hurts, yes, but it will never leave a scar that lasts longer than the wounds caused by the most hurtful of emotional harm. That is something you carry with you for a long time, possibly even for the remainder of your life.
That being said, I will say that I’ve gotten significantly better at recognizing that other peoples’ comments don’t have to carry weight. If I make the voluntary decision to disregard another person’s words, then what power do they hold over me? As you said, words only have the power to destroy us if we let them. If we are strong enough to recognize that we don’t have to react to every slight provocation, we are able to reclaim our power and tune everything else out as simple background noise.
Hi Oviya, I found your blog incredibly profound, frankly it reminded me of the saying that your thoughts become who you are. Intrinsically speaking your thoughts shape your actions and they shape the beliefs you have on yourself. It also reminded me of the quote that "humans are so powerful, that when they believe they are powerless they lose all their power" I believe that to understand the source of importance and power one must look within. Words have no meaning unless you give them one, so therefore who is in control? You. I found that you worded this concept into your blog incredibly, and I found your blog incredibly captivating. I will admit I appreciate your candor, especially when you mentioned that you felt liberated by ignoring other people's thoughts or opinions about yourself. I can relate to this, I've numerous times been hurt by the opinions and feelings others have of me but I have begun to relate to the phrase that ignorance is bliss, but you've clearly found a more sophisticated technique of doing so. I found your blog incredibly refreshing thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHello Oviya. This phrase has been commonly preached by many adults in my life, of course just like you, I did not fully understand what they meant by it. I really liked your analogy that words are like oxygen and they only combust when we give it a reaction. We can be controlled by the words of others, or we can choose not too and it really is as simple as that. Another thing I would like to add is that this philosophy also applies to compliments as well. If someone was to completely block off criticism and only accept compliments and praise that also gives other people power. Making it so, that they would seek the other persons validation.
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