Anshina Verma Week 13- Religion, The World’s Most Profitable Coping Mechanism
I loosely clasp my hands in prayer, head bowed as the top of my forehead rests on the small hardwood floor.
What stupidity six-year-old me thinks, grumbling to herself. A scowl crosses my face as I stare at the tiny
particles of dust on my floor that I am only able to see given my obnoxious proximity to the ground.
My mother begins singing a prayer in Hindi and ringing a bell, and I fight the urge to cover my ears.
God, it's so loud, but I can’t flinch, or my mother might go ballistic.
My father, on the other hand, stands behind me in a deep purple kurta and rests a hand on my shoulder,
a calming gesture, to inform me that he, too, finds the loud clanging bell to be a source of annoyance.
Why am I even here? I ask this to myself every day, and my mother always has an answer.
“God is always here for you,” she says, beaming each time. It's infuriating.
Here, for me, I’ve never seen him. What has he done?
Now, around eleven years later, I’m aware my attitude, regardless of my beliefs, was a little bratty.
But it's safe to say I’ve changed since then, although my stance with God is iffy at best.
It’s nothing personal, but I just don’t see the logic behind it.
I have nothing against religious people or people who choose to devote themselves to god,
it's just not for me.
I rarely pray; it might be cathartic, sure, but I don’t see what some supernatural being has to do with it.
But when something goes wrong, and I find myself staring at those idols from India, it's a coping mechanism.
At the ripe age of twelve, I cracked the code. I simply couldn’t realize why people were so hung up on god.
God this, god that. But it was comforting, it was comforting knowing someone in your life greater
than you was guiding you, because the reality that you are utterly alone and your pain and struggles
may have no purpose, and your life is your responsibility and yours alone, is terrifying.
So what did humanity do? We coped, coped so hard for thousands of years, that religion became a
billion-dollar industry. I mean, I get it, the only reason I don’t go insane is that I avoid thinking about it,
but the vicious cycle of sin, repent, pray, repeat, it's probably therapeutic,
I’m tempted to try out a real proper confession just to see how it is.
https://www.britannica.com/topic/reliigion
Hi Anshina! I relate immensely especially to your statement of how its a feeling of comfort to know that someone bigger then you was almost watching over you and offering support. For me, these days, whenever something out of the ordinary occurs or when I feel like I’m almost “saved” from a bad experience, I always say that it is ultimately a sign from the universe or God watching over me. Although I can’t warp my mind around that specific concept scientifically that God does ultimately exist, its nice to use it as a therapeutic way and have someone to pray to and thank for all the things I am capable of doing today. My parents have never been deeply religious, but even so, we still pray from time to time on birthdays, Diwali, and other such events. Its nice to light a diya, to feel the warmth coming from the matchstick, to then blow it out before it spreads to my fingers and smell that certain aroma, to then clasp my hands together and mutter a prayer and token of gratitude. I completely agree with you saying that it is a feeling of cope, as I honestly wouldn't put it any other way. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteAnshina, this is a blog that I can relate to. I have never been particularly religious but, unlike your family, my parents are not either. While I never necessarily believed in god, I have always been deeply interested in finding out why others are. To me, it seemed implausible that a god existed but I loved looking for reasons that other people decided to put their faith in something bigger than themselves. I love learning about new religions and understanding how they came to be. I do believe, however, that the idea of a god or gods is bigger than a coping mechanism for some people. People’s lives are often guided by their faith and I think that truly does come from a belief that a supernatural being exists. It serves like a guide for how one should live their life. It gives structure to people’s lives. The problem arises when people think everyone should be living according to that same structure. Younger me could never fathom why people disliked other religions so much, especially as so many religions are deeply intertwined in their histories. Take Judaism and Christianity, for instance. Both religions share a piece of scripture yet followers regard themselves as so different from one another. Judaism is often even considered the parent religion of Christianity. No matter what religion means to a person, it must be remembered that the choice to believe in it is individualistic. It is not meant to be forced upon someone else. Thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteMy experiences with religion have also been very iffy. For context, my mother's and father's side of the family are completely Catholic (strangely my father is an avid atheist, but doesn't bring it up with my mom for he knows better) and because of that I had to become a christian. When I was 13 I had to do this ceremony in India called "first holy communion" where I had to memorize a lot of scripts and passages and tell it to a priest. What I found really annoying was the fact that there were a lot of contradictions in the text. And on top of that I had to take pictures for 13 hours, yes 13, with relatives I never knew existed during my ceremony.
ReplyDeleteAfter that I became an atheist, however over time I slowly turned toward agnosticism more and started to study other religions to debate the Indian uncles at functions—never with aunties, it's not worth it. What I found about the "logic" of religion is that they are all extremely similar even though they were developed across the world. For example, Christianity and Hinduism(and hundreds more) all have a form of after life which pertains to humans craving for redemption and liberation. And another is that a divine being is interested in humanity's story and the person following that religion.
The way I think about it, if there is a god then it is not any religion that humans have invented or “found.” However, I think it will be an unimaginable being that doesn't care for humanity in the slightest. That mindset motivates me more since it is our responsibility to push humanity forward, not a god.