Oviya Ravi Week 16; The Great Divide

 Dear…

I can’t stop thinking about this. I can’t stop remembering everything that has happened and every word you’ve said to me, both in anger and in love. I will admit, the former is more readily available in my memory. 


I remember the times we used to laugh, go out for lunch, sit in the loft, sit in my room. I also remember all the tears. I remember changing parts of myself to make you happier but you don’t remember any of that. So now I’m stuck being angry about something that you won’t even recognize to be true.


I miss you more than anything. I miss having my person; the one with me from the time I stepped foot into the world and I thought, until one of us was gone. I used to think a lot about the future. You were always there, but now I don’t know if that will be true and I don’t know what to do with that. 


I am angry for multiple reasons. I am angry at you for the way you speak to me. I am angry at you for the expectations you have of me. I am angry at you for seeing the worst in me. I am angry at you for not seeing me for me. 


You have been so many people in my life. You have been my role model, my best friend, my teacher, my antagonist and the person I was always a little scared of. Now each one of these memories is coming at me all at once so I don’t know which version of myself to put on. You broke my system. Maybe that’s why I am angry. I don’t know who I am without it being based on you. 


I am angry at myself as well. I am angry for letting it get this bad. I am angry that I didn’t recognize this sooner. I am angry that I am not able to put my anger aside and move on from the horrid time.


I miss you more than anything. I don’t know what is to come; I don’t know a lot of things. But I know I miss you more than anything. Part of me is wondering if you miss me; I am angry about that too.


https://statehornet.com/2026/05/noah-kahan-album-review-folk-indie-the-great-divide-tour-stick-season-new-music/



Comments

  1. ClaireMay 27, 2026 at 9:26 PM

    I found the image you chose this week to be so poignant, especially with how the window bisects the two subjects of focus. Human relationships are so complicated—understatement of the year, I suppose. There is never a shortage of things to hate (or to love) about someone else, and it’s a struggle to balance those two juxtaposed impulses. While two people in a relationship should strive to be tolerant and supportive, they should also aim to improve themselves and each other. A relationship should be mutually beneficial, and while that sounds too cold, it’s true.

    I also identify with the complexity with which you depicted relationships. I found it compelling how the speaker can’t seem to reconcile their good memories with their bad ones. I used to get into arguments with my sister, and I still occasionally think about them. How I felt afterwards. How she must have felt afterwards. There are so many names for a single relationship it can be dizzying to recall them all. But I’m sure that the Great Divide (get it?) that exists between the speaker and the subject must be clear to the both of them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tanya GuptaMay 27, 2026 at 9:39 PM

    Hi Oviya! I thought your blog this week was so emotionally compelling. I absolutely loved the way you presented the complicated relationship that you describe. The repetition of “I miss you” and “I am angry” is such a fitting way to describe the conflicting feelings that are present, almost as if those thoughts are fighting for dominance over the other. I appreciated the way that you represent attitudes of love and anger at the same time, instead of depicting them as opposites. Just as the world is not black and white, love and hate are in fact not opposites, but rather, they are both passionate feelings that involve a deep level of care.

    Your blog also reminded me of the incredibly strange feeling when someone who has been such a constant part of your life is suddenly no longer as present in your life. In my personal experience with that, I think I tend to try and hold onto the identity of the person that they used to be, or at least a version of who they used to be, because doing that is easier than learning to let go. When you mention how you aren’t sure how to define yourself without basing that definition on the other person, I think that very accurately puts into words the feeling of constantly having your life revolve around another person, to the point where everything you know about yourself has something to do with them. Therefore, when the relationship is not as strong, it is difficult because you miss the other person and the relationship itself, as well as the version of you that existed within that relationship. Thank you so much for sharing, and I am so grateful to have gotten the opportunity to read your blogs and get closer with you this year!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tanya | Week 15 | Dear Bhaiya

Image
One of my all-time favorite stories to hear is of my older brother’s obsession with hand sanitizer. On the day of my birth, my brother became inseparable from the hospital’s supply of hand sanitizer, for the sole reason that you need to have extremely clean hands in order to hold a newborn baby. I am told that he would constantly ask to hold me, even keeping a bottle of the sanitizer with him for easy access. I wish I could’ve been there to witness such a rare instance of my brother being nice to me. It has been a long, long time since that day. I find it crazy and a little unfair that he’s known me and remembers me for all of my life, but I’ve only known him for a fraction of his. But, there is a lot that I do remember over the years, and I thought I would put some of it into this letter... Dear Bhaiya (older brother), I miss you. Of course, if somehow you ever read this, I’d laugh in your face and call you delusional for even suggesting something so absurd. I miss playing video games...
Read more

Claire Fan - Week 9: I thank whatever gods may be / For my unconquerable soul.

Image
  Wanderer above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich, 1818, symbolizing the great unknown (among other things). It's a real place, in fact—the Elbe Sandstone Mountains between Germany and the Czech Republic. Does free will exist? There’s no way to know empirically—not yet, at least, according to quantum mechanics. The only thing left to do, then, is speculate. Numerous philosophers have tried to answer this question: Schopenhauer, Hume, Kant, Sartre… Religion has its own unique answer. According to Christianity, for example, the omniscient God, from the beginning of the universe (and possibly earlier), knew everything that would occur. Every possible permutation of every possible action and reaction, down to the behavior of the tiniest atom. In other words, Christianity asserts the existence of fate —a predetermined path—rather than destiny —a life that could be independently chosen. Hinduism claims that free will does exist, but in order to achieve nirvana and escape the ne...
Read more

Tanya | Week 9 | Fear of the Unknown

Image
For the longest time, I had genuinely no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I knew very early on that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the field of computer science, technology, or anything along those lines. But for the life of me, I simply could not figure out what it was that I did want to do, and it definitely didn’t help that I was surrounded by friends who had known since they were six years old that they were destined to be doctors or mechanical engineers. So whenever anyone would pose the terrifying question of what I wanted to pursue in the future, I would laugh it off and tell them I was still “figuring it out.”   But the truth was, the uncertain state of my future frightened me. What if I never found something that genuinely excited me? And more, what if my indecisiveness and inability to form a concrete plan was an indication of the fact that I was going to spend the rest of my life wandering aimlessly day after day without a real purpose? Fast forward a...
Read more